Meet Me at the Bell Tower
Why does the mystery and wholeness of a kiss get left in the dust?
Sexual self-help books stand in line on my nightstand waiting to be read. After 27 years in an intimate relationship, I flip through the pages of How to be a Great Lover, or The Art of Sexual Ecstasy, looking for the one thing that will rekindle the flame of passion that once melted every distinguishable line of self and left me wondering where my body ended and my partner’s began.
This flame of passion has since dimmed and leaves me yearning for its next warm wind to ignite its all-consuming intensity. But it occurs to me, as I read suggestion after suggestion, that it isn’t the “perfectly executed” sexual escapade or the orgasm that has gone missing from my relationship. Those are still here, quite alive. What has gone missing from my relationship is the power of the kiss.
The kiss is the heart and soul of every sexual encounter. It sets the rhythm for the intimate dance to come. If it is great then the yearning, the longing only intensify. If it’s bad, the yearning can quickly change to a desperate wish for the phone to ring, a desperate wish for any interruption. I remember this well when I finally kissed a guy I had a huge crush on and there was nothing there. No sparks, no rush. Nothing. It was the worst kiss I’d ever had, and I…
